Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Girl Scout Cookie Conundrum

Hail my running brothers and sisters!  This week saw me doing something I never thought I would do:  I was selling Girl Scout Cookies.  Generally I have a policy against pushing my kids' fund raising crap on other people. After all, I don't want to buy their kids' crap, so then why should they buy mine?  But as usual, my lovely wife knew better.  She said that Girl Scout cookies are different, because people actually want those.  Throw in some  "baby girl cuteness" and suddenly I'm pimping out cookies with the best of them.  About half way through my cookie sales pitch, it occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't be hooking up the GSC addicts in my office with their next fix.  After all, am I not that obnoxious SOB flaunting my new found athleticism and healthy lifestyle down the throats of my poor, beleaguered staff, associates, comrades, and friends.  Am I not the know-it-all, tut-tut-tutting my way through the breakroom as others attempt to hide that extra slice of pizza?  Damn right, I am!  And now, I'm pushing buttery, sugary, chocolatey tagalong goodness on my hapless staff (actually, looking at the numbers, GSC's are generally not too bad considering that a serving size is 2 cookies or more and that most have less sugar than an oreo.  Still I wouldn't say that GSC's are approved diet food.  As for that "hapless" one held a gun up to their head.).  Do I feel guilty for the role that I've played in America's dance with obesity?  Maybe a little, but it's hard to be superior and holier-than-thou when you have no one to be superior or holier-than-thou to.  Plus if anyone is going to profit from the millions of GSC addicts out there, then my daughter should!  Ha!  Okay kids, have fun and run hard!

1 comment:

Julie said...

and eat some cookies!

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