Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Clearly we have all lost our minds

After my lovely, and very patient wife, pointed out to me that I had become that "guy" that I used to hate (you know the one...that guy who knows so much about being healthy that he's cramming it down your throat) I have seriously tried to tone it down. At least in public. Here in my little corner of the blogging world, I will still be as arrogant and self-righteous as ever. Which brings me to my rant of the week, and how it all started with ice cream.

Ice cream. My children love it. My wife loves it, and I love it. However in recent months I have tried very hard to avoid, but this isn't easy when your children insist on visiting the ice cream store. Case in point, I had taken my family to Knoxville for my wife's 20th high school reunion. During the weekend, I took the kids to Marble Slab Creamery while my wife did a little last minute shopping before the reunion. The children ordered their usual vanilla ice cream with various toppings, while I deprived myself cursing the evil sugary goodness of strawberry and chocolate ice cream covered with strawberries. We sat down at a table in the store, and that's when I saw this.--->

On the left is a box/info card to join the Marble Slab fan club and on the right is a box/info card to join a local 24/7 health club. The Marble Slab Mail entitles you to receive news and special offers all about their ice cream, I'm sure. It just struck me as sad/odd/funny that they would even promote a 24/7 health club while they are pimping their ice cream. Then I figured it out. I as the unwary consumer decide to get me double scoop of double fudge fatberry on a cone. While licking the napkin holding my cone for the last remnants of ice cream, I realize how low I have fallen and immediately dedicate myself to re-building my body! Lo and behold, there is the application card for the health club right there in the ice cream store. Sign me up! After a week of grueling workouts, success! I have lost 2 lbs. On this day, I receive my coupon from the ice cream store and decide, "Well I've done so great, I should treat myself." Pack up the kids and off we go to the ice cream store, and the whole cycle begins again. Frankly this marketing is pure genius. I'm not sure why we don't do this type of cross-promotion all the time. For instance, why not sell beer outside the AA meetings? And wouldn't churches save more wayward souls if they set up a recruiting booth in the strip clubs. And while, I applaud casino's foresight in putting atm's in their lobbies, I think that they could make lots more money if the government set up social security disbursement offices next to the pit bosses.

Seriously, when will we stop the madness? Rewarding oneself for accomplishing your goals are fine, but over-indulgence is a totally different story. The problem that I see is that we over-indulge a lot. A lot. Serving sizes are too big. Treats are super-saturated with fat and sugar. I'm not saying that we shouldn't eat and enjoy ice cream. Just don't over-do it, okay? Later kids.

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